At 319 days on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, I want to take some time to review my progress. As this is an ongoing project that will likely take years, frequent re-evaluation and course-correction (tweaks to diet, habits, supplements, etc) are required. About a month and a half ago (August 21st) I was really honest with my readers and I described my current level of healing at 9 months SCD as well as some constructive criticism about my methods heretofore and the tweaks I needed to make to reach my health goals.
I’m so happy to report that I have strictly followed up by making all of the tweaks I listed and I’m now reaping the rewards of such diligence.
One of the biggest changes I made was adding
Atkins Diet restrictions to my personalized version of SCD. While my original goal included 75 grams of Carbohydrates per day, I changed my mind and decided to focus on getting 20-30 Net grams of Carbohydrates per day instead, placing me in the Induction Phase of Atkins Diet. My ratio of calories coming from macronutrients looks something like this now:
5-10% Carbs, 70-75% Fats, 20% Protein
Fortunately, after working through the awful Low Carb Flu twice over, things began to level out and my energy came back. More recently, with the addition of SCD 24 hour yogurt and some more veggies I’ve been able to improve my Bristol scores and achieve a bit more control of the bloating.
I did experience an EPIC CHEAT, however, a few days into adding the Atkins restrictions. Now I’m not one to cheat on SCD; the times I’ve messed up with even LEGAL foods have proven too painful for me to have much desire to wake the half-sleeping giant living in my intestines. So my determination to eat that can of beans Gosh Darn It! kind of surprised even me. It was a bad day, I felt icky, thought it couldn’t get too much worse (how wrong I was!), I was too exhausted to cook and had run out of prepared SCD foods. Talk about a bad situation. That can of illegal beans was just SINGING MY NAME so I ate it….the WHOLE THING. Yes, I did. And I paid for it too. Gratefully, I haven’t been tempted to cheat since and let’s just say I essentially got a colonoscopy prep from that can of beans. Owwie. It also kicked me out of ketosis and I had to fight Low Carb Flu all over again. Just not worth it!
What are my Safe Foods now?This is actually pretty simple because there aren’t many. Haha!
Protein: All SCD Legal meats, eggs, homemade broth from bones
Veggies: Leafy lettuces and spinach, bell peppers, tomatoes, celery, onion*
Fruit: Avocado, limited berries
Fats: Coconut oil, EVOO, duck fat, fats naturally occurring in the meats I’m eating
Other: Homemade SCD 24 hour yogurt, Sweet N Low, unsweetened cocoa powder (this is NOT SCD legal but I’ve found I tolerate it fine if I have 1 Tb per day, so I’ve added it for flavor), and Clancy’s unflavored pork rinds for crunchy goodness 😀
* I can eat all of these veggies raw just fine now (except the onion). I love the veggie crunch!
At this time, that really is all I’m eating. But I am doing well with it. I kinda feel like I’m back to the beginning, or “Phase 1” yet I think this is what my body needs for a few months before I try adding higher fructose foods back in. A few months ago I didn’t do veggies well because of the fiber, but I am able to tolerate them well now so this is an option for me. Surprisingly, my Bristol scores have IMPROVED since adding veggies every day! I’m just so happy I can now tolerate the SCD yogurt too! I’ve become used to sour and unsweetened savory foods so the taste of the yogurt isn’t so bad now even without honey. I eat it plain and as sour cream on my taco lettuce wraps. 🙂 I don’t plan to add any more dairy for the next month or two. Just digesting the yogurt makes me happy so I don’t want to rock the boat and create a flare or stall my progress. So I’ll be content with my yogurt and reconsider adding butter and cheese in a month or two.
I feel like my progress on SCD has been kind of slow despite the 317 of 319 days that I’ve not cheated, but I can look back now and really be amazed at the progress I’ve made. Let’s take a look at some goals which I had written down at 2 months (8 months ago). Underneath each goal I’m going to write about my current progress and compare it to where I was at 2 months!
* Having enough energy to make it from morning to night without necessary naps, and feeling okay (rather than like I’m going to pass out)
2 Months – 5% – I’m able to make it through some days and not others; my progress in this area is spotty. Gaining energy is the one area where I really feel that I’ve not made much progress so far. Because I have less pain, I feel that I do have a little more energy to put into my day that otherwise would have been used to fight through the pain itself.
10 Months – 60% – Most days I do not take long naps, if I take a nap at all! 3 or more naps used to be my daily ritual. I rarely feel like I’m going to pass out now. And though my energy varies significantly from day to day, I do have more than I did 8 months ago.
* Wanting to get up in the morning, not dreading the day, but feeling prepared
2 Months – 50% – This has been improving for me. I now trust each day that I’m probably not going to be doubled over in pain if I eat right, so I’m not dreading the pain as much. I do not always feel prepared or energetic enough at this time so that I can say I’m really “READY” for my day or enthusiastic, but I’ve also never been much of a morning person either.
10 Months – 60% – Slow progress here. I am sleeping better because of chiropractic adjustments and less gut and joint pain due to SCD.
* Not noticing pain or the feeling of my internal organs inside me
2 Months – 80% – GUESS WHAT?!! This is HUGE! I’m at the place where, about 7 to 8 out of 10 days I do not have problems with visceral hypersensitivity! Most days I no longer feel my internal organs or notice food/gas/other moving through my intestines. Testing new foods can cause the visceral hypersensitivity to flare (that’s why I’m at 7-8 out of 10 rather than 10 out of 10 days – because I’m still trying new foods and sometimes they just don’t play nice). I am now able to stand at my kitchen sink while washing dishes and put some of my weight against the counter in my lower abdominal area without getting visceral cramping that brings me to the floor with pain! That’s a first!
10 Months – 80% – Well, this is about the same but I’m pleased that most days I don’t crumple over from gut spasms. In retrospect, I believe that as I progressed on SCD I added foods that I thought I was ok with but that were actually keeping inflammation high, like fruits and carbs. Just a month ago I was dealing with lots of bloating and gut issues and now that I’ve gone back to a super simple diet things are improving again. Trying to maintain that 80% and slowly improve it is my goal, but I don’t think it will happen overnight or even necessarily before my 1 year SCD anniversary.
* Spending more mental energy and physical energy serving other people, thinking about others, being less self-absorbed with my health issues
2 Months – 10% – I’m not there yet, but I have dedicated 2012 to improving my health as much as possible, with the above goal set as a long-term goal. I am hoping to go to a new singles group next Saturday and I’m excited about meeting people. I’m also considering joining my church’s choir; an activity I turned down despite my musical talent to tend directly to my health needs. Once I get more energy, I think I’ll be able to meet this goal at least partially.
10 Months – 40% – I’m really happy with the progress made in this area. I’ve been investing in relationships again and recently I did joint my church’s choir and performed for the first time in years on stage! I went to an open mic night at a coffeehouse and performed a “sit down comedy” skit as well and had a good time! I’ve had neighbors over (actually I have a friend coming over for tea tomorrow too) and I’m hosting a bi-weekly prayer group at my home on Sundays.
* Learning who I am again, apart from GI distress; not who my gut is, but who **I** am
2 Months – 25% – This too is a long-term goal. I am learning more about myself by engaging in my DBT group therapy, seeing a psychologist, and of course being involved in my church and hopefully through this new singles group. There are many years of “my health problems are defining who I am” that need to be overcome, so while I see some progress in this area, it will take more time. I’ve learned that I’m a pretty tough nut to crack, however, through dealing with the restrictions on this diet and also just through making it through each day; God has given me great fortitude.
10 Months – 50% – I’ve been enjoying trying so many new things that I’ve not been able to do for years. I’m beginning to really learn what I enjoy doing and giving myself permission to say “nah, I don’t like this activity and I want to try something else”. I’m learning that I do like to be a bit adventurous and take some risks too.
* Being able to wear regular (non-maternity) clothing again because the hypersensitivity, bloating, and gut pain is gone or greatly decreased (Man…what do men do who are as painfully hypersensitive as I am…I can’t imagine!)
2 Months – 95% – Oh, yes! The pain (visceral hypersensitivity – see bullet point #3) has decreased so much that for the first time in a very long time I’ve been able to wear MY own pants again, rather than maternity pants or pajama bottoms. For a long time even the pressure of underwear on my abdomen was literally intolerable. I’ve made incredible gains here and I’m very satisfied.
10 Months – 100% – YAY! I boxed up my maternity pants and I’m keeping a few just in case I have a bad flare-up in the future, but I haven’t worn any of them in a few months! 😀 Actually, my Mom took me shopping as we celebrated the fact that I’m able to wear nice clothes now and I have a beautiful new wardrobe that makes me smile!!! I’m enjoying getting dolled and dressed up for the first time in my life. I have enough energy to want to match my clothes and look put-together!
* Eating the right amount for my body and not dreading the repercussions – Enjoying food! – the texture, taste, smell, sensory experiences of food and feeling full and not hungry
2 Months – 75% – Back in November and December, I had really reached the place where I felt like being required to eat was torture. I took no pleasure in food at all – not even in the tiniest bit. It was a chore, something I had to do so I could continue to live. But now I’m enjoying foods, appreciating their textures and smells! Last week my mouth actually watered for the first time when I was looking at pictures of food and recipes online. It was an odd sensation for me because I’d become so used to getting nauseous whenever I smelled food or even had to look at it – my body and braing was trying to protect me from something it thought was harmful. Now, I drool! 😀 I do still find it challenging to eat enough food each day, but that is improving as I have more and more good experiences with food to counter the thousands of bad ones.
10 Months – 75% – Still at 75% but I’m content with that at this point. I’m glad that I do legitimately enjoy about 3 meals that I can eat. The rest still is a chore, but I don’t get nauseous nearly as often from the smell or sight of food.
* Being able to think clearly without days of confusion and brain fog
2 Months – 50% – I still have days of confusion and brain fog, but my friends have commented that I appear to be much more “alert” and “with it” and able to focus. I have to agree. Before SCD, I was in so much pain that I often really couldn’t focus enough to have an intelligible conversation. On more than a few occasions I would “wake up” out of my brain fog while driving only to find that I’d driven 10 miles down some road with which I was ENTIRELY unfamiliar and I had no clue how I’d even gotten there. It was so bad that even though I know how to get from one place to another in my town, I had to take my GPS with me because otherwise I could end up hopelessly lost in the middle of nowhere. I still have some days like that where I can stare into space for an hour and not even realize the hour has passed, but they are becoming less. I’m handling social situations more appropriately as well.
10 Months – 85% – Wow! Look at that! I do still have my days (remember August??) when I feel drunk and foggy mentally, but most days I’m pretty lucid now. I don’t space out as much. Actually, when I DO feel spacey and in a fog, I recognize how different it is from my new normal clearer-headedness. I can plan what I’m doing for the first time in my life – I’m not just constantly flying by the seat of my pants and hoping everything works out ok because I’m too frazzled upstairs to put a plan of action together!
* Enjoying the company of other people without worrying about controlling my GI symptoms in their presence
2 Months – 80% – I’ve been able to do this many times now without fretting. I’ve gone to parties, Bible studies, church, pot lucks, and other events! I don’t usually have to think much about managing my GI symptoms during the day with the exception of making sure I’m only eating what I know is safe and good for me…and being sure I eat enough. Otherwise, gas hasn’t been a problem like it used to be ALL THE TIME. My guts don’t make awful roaring and gurgling noises nearly as often. Most days I don’t feel nauseous, so I don’t have to worry about losing my lunch like I used to. I have actually been able to STOP carrying my enema kit in my purse wherever I’m going! I don’t now worry about where the bathroom is or if I’ll be able to lay on the floor to do an enema in a public bathroom (where the stall doors don’t go down that far) because there is rarely a need!
10 Months – 95% – This is in direct correlation to how much control I have over my GI tract. I’ve made progress and I’m happy to say that I’m no longer self-conscious about my GI symptoms in public! I don’t tote enemas with me in my purse, nor do I carry extra undies, a change of clothes, and diapers. I go to church and Bible Studies without obsessing over hiding horrendous gas (hint: sit in a sofa that has thick gas-absorbing cushions) and diarrhea or pain – I just go and focus on others and the subject being discussed.
* Forgetting that I have GI disorders in the first place and just ENJOYING LIFE
2 Months – 20% – Let’s say…there are TIMES when I forget, but not full days. There are probably a few hours each day where I don’t think about my guts now and I just go about my day. Before SCD, my life revolved around my guts, bathroom, enema bottles, kitchen and food hatred…and that was about all. Because of the lack of energy, I don’t feel like I’m really at the place where I can say I “forget” for more than about 30% of the day (on a good day); so much of my time and energy is still being poured into SCD and my health. But that’s okay and I realize this goal is more or less a long-term goal. I’ve seen progress, so for this I can be thankful!
10 Months – 75% – I’m definitely enjoying life now, whether or not I have that frequent reminder that I have health problems. I do still have to use energy conservation every day to get through the day without burning out, but I’m ok with that; it’s just part of my life. Perhaps I’m just accepting it more fully these days and trying to focus more on what I’ve gained than what I still cannot do.
Health/Healthy is NOT…
* Worrying about my bowels constantly
2 Months – 80% – I’m very aware still, but I wouldn’t say most of the time that I’m “worried”. Sometimes. I now have hope, however, that things are going to continue to get better and I’m not going to die anytime real soon from a GI illness (sure felt that way for a long time) unless God has other plans…and if He does, then they are the very best for me! I know when I try a new food and it makes me feel ill for 2 days or so that I can get back to where I was before I tried that food; I’ve not irreparably damaged my progress, but I may have to retreat to my “Food Safe Zone” for a few days to get the GI system to calm down. Knowing that I can use the bathroom successfully and knowing that I can get back to this place where my gut is feeling so much better are both facts that I can employ through my Reason Mind (DBT) to defeat my Emotion Mind’s worries!
10 Months – 90% – My doctor recently prescribed a medication I can use to help me when the visceral hypersensitivity and intestine spasms become too much to bear. It starts working in 20 minutes when I put the tablet under my tongue and tends to provide about 5 hours of relief so I can get done what I need to do and then get home to rest. Just having this option and being more confident that I can make it through a painful day is helpful on an emotional and mental level.
* Scheduling my day/nigh/LIFE around my gastrointestinal symptoms
2 Months – 100%/50% – My life is no longer scheduled around my symptoms, so I have to say this goal is 100% complete. However, my schedule and life does revolve around adhering to SCD and taking care of my body’s many needs so that I can maintain the progress that’s been achieved. This second focus, however, has a positive tenor whereas scheduling my life around symptom avoidance wasn’t helping and was actually rather depressing. Now I have something practical, functional, and successful to focus on which is taking me in the right direction. I feel useful in solving the problem rather than useless and entirely unable to control the situation.
10 Months – 100%/50% – This is the same now as 8 months ago and I think that’s just the way it is going to be while I’m doing SCD. Luckily, I now have my Food Safe Zone established and a few recipes that I know how to make without a huge learning curve that I had 8 months ago when I was just learning to cook for the first time!
* Spending 1 hour or more each day doing 4-7 enemas on the bathroom floor
2 Months – 100% – Another goal 100% accomplished! I’m using enemas between 1-3 times a week at most, and I’m super-fast with enemas (lots and lots of practice) so it really doesn’t bother me.
10 Months – 100% – I thought 1-3 enemas a week was ok 8 months ago? Wow, that’s sad. 😛 I haven’t done an enema more than once in two months now! I hope enemas stay out of my life forever.
* Worrying about when the next pain attack will hit and whether I’ll be able to find a bathroom in a public place where I can break out my enema bottles and chuck pads and pray nobody needs to go any time soon (its gonna be a while, folks…form a line)!
2 Months and 10 Months – 100% – Whoo hoo! Another gold star!! This is no longer a problem for me!
* Hating food and its after-effects
2 Months – 65% – I do still have my days where, I wouldn’t say I totally hate food anymore, but I can have a negative attitude to it. When eating foods I know to be safe, I do not fear their after-effects because there are none! I have made incredible progress in this area given where I started. I still have a ways to go, but I’m getting there.
10 Months – 70% – When I feel icky, I hate food. When I feel okay, I’m ambivalent about it unless I magically happen to be enjoying one of my few safe zone meals. I’m not as scared of food, and I don’t need to spend an hour and a half pushing it around my plate before I can get it down; I just eat, and I’m done. So that’s progress.
* Hating pooping…
2 Months – 60% – I just realized at this moment that a reader may have no clue why someone would hate pooping with vehemence. Well, it was soooo incredibly painful because I can feel the peristalsis in my intestines, and I couldn’t bear down enough (increasing intra-abdominal pressure) to have a BM without lots of pain. Even worse, the pelvic floor dysfunction made it feel like I was pushing against a brick wall…and I was, basically. I kept the trash can nearby whenever I used the bathroom because the nausea was so intense sometimes I’d throw up, and usually when I didn’t throw up I would wish that I could because it was that bad. I still am a little afraid of BM’s. Most days they aren’t painful or they may be a little painful but not bad compared to what they used to be before biofeedback (to correct pelvic floor dysfunction) and SCD. I still have trouble getting enough peristalsis action in my colon to be able to really have a successful BM, and with the constipation issues it can still be stressful when I can’t go even though I can feel that I should be able to. My plan is to drink more water and try to increase my Bristol score back up to a 4-5 if possible, and that should help. I’m glad that most days I can poop!
10 Months – 90% – I don’t hesitate to go to the bathroom when I feel like I need to anymore. Unless things are really bloated and inflamed (which does still happen some days), I don’t usually feel like I’m going to pass out or throw up when I’m using the bathroom. Another positive is that I’m learning (it’s been a long, slow process) to tell when I need to use the bathroom before I hit the crisis point of peristalsis hell. l almost never experience the extreme anxiety before and during a BM that I had for years which made me want to climb up a flagpole to get away! So wonderful to be free of such awful things!
* Not having to focus ALL my energies to cut through the pain mentally to think, enjoy anything, or actually LISTEN to people and hear what they are saying during conversations
2 Months – 75% – I’ve come a long way here! I can now invest the energy that I was using to fight through the pain into listening and focusing on other people! I’m able to enjoy things like wrapping Christmas gifts, hanging out with friends, pumping gas into my car (until I see the price, that is), going to the grocery store if I’m not too tired, etc. As my mind clears up more and I have less days of brain fog and confusion, I expect this will continue to improve.
10 Months – 85% – As I expected, the brain fog has been continuing to improve as I’ve personalized my diet to my body’s needs and therefore I’ve been able to focus more on the people, activities, experiences, and sensations around me. It’s such a blessing! Sometimes exhaustion still gets in the way, however, and I just want to be left alone in a dark room to sleep. So progress still needed here.
It’s obvious that I’ve made progress in most of these goal areas, but that the progress I made in month 0-2 on SCD was much quicker than the progress I’ve made on Months 2-10. That’s ok. Steve and Jordan say that the first 80% of your progress is gained faster than the last 20%.
It is about time for me to write up some NEW goals; the kind that I never would have been able to consider dreaming about before I made progress on SCD – goals involving my career, education, community service, interests and opportunities I’m exploring for the first time…things that DON’T primarily involve my guts! 😀 I’m ready to get out there and enjoy life in ways I’ve never been able to before. I feel kinda like a kid in a candy shop!
That reminds me of an analogy I had written in March of 2012. I was making progress but also experiencing setbacks on SCD, and I was frustrated because I had just endured a major flare-up and was finding it hard to bounce back.
“Now that I’ve had some taste for the good health days that could be ahead and what I’m missing out on in life because of my health problems, I want even more to move on past them. It’s easier to be content when you think it can’t get any better. Yet when you know it can be much better and it’s just a few stair steps away but you seem unable to make it up those last three or four stairs, ugh! It’s like climbing up a staircase to a candy store that’s at the top of the stairs. You’re just 4 steps away, so you can see it all right in front of you – you can sniff the candy, admire its pretty colors and envy all the folks digging through those bins of crinkly wrapped candies!! And you can’t have any of it – you’re stuck 4 steps away. Doesn’t it just about gut you? That’s how I feel every day.
Where is God in all of it? Can’t say I know for sure, not sure I’m supposed to know for sure. Guess He likes to keep me wondering so I’ll trust Him? I don’t know why He would allow me to see the candy store but not allow me to have it yet. But I guess He did that to lots of Saints. John on the aisle of Patmos, Paul who had a thorn because of the amazing revelations – he was given a thorn to keep him humble; given pain (the very opposite of what had been revealed to him) when he knew pleasure and great mysteries and treasures that awaited. The whole earth is subject to futility and the curse so that it might be redeemed for something greater, something fuller and everlasting. Job suffered intensely and in his suffering he saw some revelations of God that pointed to Christ in an age when nobody would likely have had such deep revelations by any other means. Granted, after his torture, Job’s life was better than it had been at first, but it was no easy road to get there and I don’t envy him…nor do I really want God to “bless” me with a bunch of cattle and sheep.”
That was March of 2012. Now, in October, I feel like I am that kid in that wonderful candy store! That doesn’t mean I have lots of money to buy bags of candy with (I still have very significant limitations), and I know that if I eat too much “candy” (do too much work/activity in a day or eat the wrong foods for my body) I will be sick. But I’m just so happy to even be in the candy store, touching and sniffing and *ehem* throwing the candy around!!!
I’m so grateful that God lead me to SCD and gave me the fortitude to stick with it!
Gutsy Girl
Pat, pat here
Naturally Gutsy 